person sitting outdoors

There are some fixed dates during a year where you are expected to have fun and be happy. Your birthday, Halloween, Christmas, and the worst of all, New Year’s Eve.

Let me explain: for some reason (I know the reason, but let’s assume I don’t, for the explanation that follows) on these dates people are happy, celebrate, and do festive things. That’s perfectly fine for me, but what if you aren’t particularly happy, or not in a festive mood that day? Or if you’d just like to be left alone, or just spend a quiet movie evening with a couple of friends (there will be a post about the “couple of friends” thing later) ? Or the worst offender of all: what if you just don’t like huge parties full of drunk people yelling “Woo-hoo!!” for no particular reason?

Then you are just a weirdo.

These dates are for mandatory fun, and you need to have fun. Go to a massive party, get drunk, behave in a stupid way and if possible be a jerk to anyone who isn’t drunk. If you don’t do that, there is no place for you in this society and people don’t want to have anything to do with the likes of you.

I don’t drink alcohol because I don’t like the taste of it (and yes, I tried a bunch of things) and also I like to think by myself. That last reason gets reinforced every time I do end up in some party and people start getting drunk. Each person switches to their drunk persona which eventually will either behave in their usual drunk way or force people around into their default drunk conversation (which is ALWAYS the same subject, for each person). Sober, or less drunk people, will listen politely while thinking “when will this person shut up or just fall drunk-asleep and leave me alone?”.

I don’t go to large noisy parties because I like conversations. Conversations aren’t possible with large crowds, or in noisy environments. It’s easier to have a conversation with a small group (for me that is less than six persons) in a quiet place such as home while playing a board game or sharing some snacks. It’s possible to watch a movie together too, which will probably generate conversation if the movie is good enough (or goofy enough).

Last of all, I don’t have fun when I’m told to, or because the calendar says I should. Everyone has huge expectations for the party on new year’s eve, or for their birthday. These expectations are never met, and people are disappointed or too drunk to realise that expectations weren’t met.

In a way, I get these expectations too, unconsciously. Due to that, I’m usually sad on my birthday or new year’s eve. What could help this? Easy: a message for a friend saying “want to come for a birthday-coffee at my place, while we play cards against humanity?”. It’s as easy as that.

Habey Gonzo
habeygonzo@ice-wind.be

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